Healthy relationships 💕

 

Humans are known to be a gregarious species and we need social interaction to thrive. You may already know that social interaction is crucial for mental wellbeing, but did you know it’s important for physical health too?

Incredibly, a recent large-scale study showed that prolonged isolation and loneliness have equivalent health consequences to smoking 15 cigarettes a day!

Relationships of all kinds have the potential to create happiness for two people beyond that which they may ever experience alone, but also the potential – when things go wrong – to bring sadness and anger. Relationships can be experienced along the complete emotional spectrum between these two extremes: as each of us is unique, so are our relationships. While everyone starts a relationship with high hopes, many people find their relationships follow a disappointing pattern. For some people relationships just seem to work, and for others they may seem doomed to fail. There are many factors that impact how people experience relationships, and many positive things you can do to improve your own relationship.

 

Discover all the ways that your partner is different from you.

Find out about their childhood, previous relationships, life experiences and passions. Learn about what makes them feel good, what upsets them, how they show affection and what makes them feel good about your relationship (it may be very different from what makes you feel good about it). How you experience the world may be quite different from your partner’s experience, and learning to recognise, accept and celebrate those differences is one of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship.

 

Learn how to agree to disagree without doing damage to your relationship.

It is important that if you disagree you are able to express your thoughts and feelings in a way that does not leave your partner feeling put down or intimidated, yet also leaves you feeling you were able to express yourself, and have your opinion respected. All couples fight, however some couples damage their relationships when they fight. When you fight, listen carefully and try to understand how your partner might be experiencing things differently from you.  Talk about how you feel rather than disparaging your partner or their behaviour. It’s also important to take time out if it seems you are fighting unproductively. Apologise when you are in the wrong, and take the necessary steps you need to prevent the situation from happening again.

 

No matter how frustrated or hurt you might feel, it is important to avoid violence or hurtful behaviour.

If you have used violence or hurtful behaviour, it is important that you seek professional help.

The following relationship habits are also crucial to maintaining a loving, fulfilling and respectful bond with your partner:

• Make the time to talk to each other about what is happening in your lives; your hopes, fears and frustrations, the good and bad about your relationship. Most importantly – always, always remember to laugh together!
• Spend time doing interesting things with your partner. Sharing significant life experiences together will strengthen the bond between you. Experiences could include taking a holiday together, sharing your hobbies, leisure activities or a sport. Sharing philosophical, religious or spiritual beliefs and practices may also bring you closer together. Having enjoyable time with your partner is an essential ingredient for a healthy relationship.
• It is also important to have some time apart from each other to pursue your own interests. This is equally as important as sharing time together ,as it is your own activities and interests that reinforce your sense of self as a unique individual. With a clear sense of self, you are more likely to be feel content within the context of your relationship.

Tips for Toxic or Unhealthy relationships : When you decide to part ways

Walking away from a toxic friendship, weather it's a partner, a friend, a working relationship or even a family member, is a painful, but sometimes necessary choice.  Once you have decided that this is the right step forward, it’s important to try and end the relationship in a way that doesn’t burn bridges nor complicate an already difficult situation. 

How can you end your toxic relationship in a healthy way?   Today, I am sharing some tips for an amicable “break-up” from a toxic relationship. 

1. Avoid “ghosting” the other person and instead, aim to have a conversation about why you’ve made the decision to step away from the friendship, or why you feel that you need to distance yourself from them.  Some people see 'ghosting' as the only effective way to end communication, and as a last resort it may be, but it can also contribute to confusion and tension. If you do have a conversation with the other person, you want to ensure they understand where you are coming from, you’ll always want to keep the conversation focused on you and not just their behavior, since it is likely that you have discussed these issues prior to the actual “break-up”.  
2. Where possible, avoid involving others in your 'break-up'.  Mutual friends and family shouldn’t have to pick a side and should feel free to continue relationships with the both of you, and bringing it up with others can make them feel awkward or dishonest. However it is not always possible to avoid the involvement of others, particularly in a legal or employment situation. In this case, quite the opposite, a formal negotiator may prove to be the best form of communication
3. Move forward after the break-up and refrain from speaking negatively of the relationship. Whether a break-up is a permanent severing or a distancing that occurred over time, you do not want to involve others in your story, nor should you speak poorly of the other person.

Saying goodbye to an unhealthy friendship is a tough choice, but one that often pays off in the long run — especially when it is done carefully and with consideration for the future. 

Toxic relationships of any form are one of the leading causes of poor mental health. Whatever the relationship may be, friendship, love life or work, learn to recognise the red flags and move on with your head held high, with grace and dignity. 

Wonderful opportunities are out there and they can't wait to meet you 💕